10/18/11.

Thank you for bed bugs. They make me grateful that I do not have a more serious problem, like addiction.

IAWL: Talked to N today in the office.

Verdict: Good...no peace of mind with these bugs, but I treated people well.

TWO: SOAW<--->UJE

10/17/11.

I like the way looking for bed bugs is like Ahab looking for MD.

IAWL: I covered J's class today.

Verdict: Successful. Paranoid about bed bugs (did they come back?), but I did something nice for someone (see above), so it was a worthwhile day.

TWO: SOAW fused with UJE.


Obstacles to PoM:
-Bedbugs???
-Mess with Jessica
-Its ramifications on my image

10/16/11.

Thank you for mozzarella. Salami.

IAWL: I don't know. Didn't see anyone today.

Verdict: Successful. I remember smiling at the gym.

TWO: SOAW fused with UJE.

10/15/11.

Thank you for a clean, comfortable couch.

IAWL: I tipped the guys who delivered the couch. Also talked to U. Mike last night.

Verdict: Good. I had good peace of mind, talked to Steve, got a lot of work done.

TWO: Need to fuse SOAW with UJE.

Obstacles to PoM:
-Bedbugs
-Mess with Jessica
-Its ramifications on my image

10/6/11.

I like the way I can make jambalaya whenever I please.

IAWL: I paid for G's dinner last night.

Verdict: good. I made jambalaya.

TWO: UJE, GLS.

10/4/11.

I like the way there is SR from Vegas.

IAWL: Need to be nicer to students...ask them individually how they're doing.

Verdict: great.

TWO: UJE, GLS.

10/3/11.

Thank you for Bank America (not).

IAWL: I have been getting better at this lately. Not sure if I did anything today, though.

Verdict: successful.

TWO: Uncle Jim effect. Gls.

9/24/11.

I like the way the cold bites your face when you open the ice cream freezer at the supermarket.

IAWL: I try my best every day. How we treat people is the most important thing in the world. Talked to H today at the gym about the fallout with J. All I can do at this point is learn from my mistakes. Use texts only for purely objective messages (arrange a meeting, say I'll be late, etc.). Also, do not assume I know what a girl's thinking.

Verdict: Good. Great. Got to go food shopping.

TWO: Treating people well.

9/20/11.

I like the way I have nothing to do at all but work.

IAWL: I said bye to L today, one of my students. Small but something.

Verdict: yes.

TWO: UJP, ellipse.

9/19/11.

I like the way I am free.

IAWL: Didn't come in contact with anyone today.

Verdict: Yes, I was thankful, and there was good food.

TWO: Uncle Jim Principle.

9/18/11.

I like the way that I am still free, single, healthy.

IAWL: I was upfront with J today, which was good of me, I think. Also talked to Z at the gym.

Verdict: Y7.

TWO: The Uncle Jim Effect.

9/18/11.

I like the way deli cheese is sliced, with wax paper between the slices.

IAWL: I should have been nice in my text to J today. Could have also made more convo with N when I picked up the WW book.

Verdict: yes.

TWO: being more observant.

While I Had No Internet.

8/18/11-

I like the way it is 108 degrees outside.

IAWL: I gave the couch guy some gas money.

Verdict: Good, I slept, went to the gym.

TWO: gls.


8/20/11-

I am thankful for the party at Zach's last night.

IAWL: I should have said hello to that girl who
walked by on the sidewalk.

Verdict: Good. I went to the gym and swam in the
cool water.

TWO: gls.

8/24/11-

I am thankful for the situation I am in, school, etc.

IAWL: I said hello to people I didn't want to at
orientation today.

Verdict: Good, I got to walk to and from the gym, ride
my bike to school, etc.

TWO: gls, negotiating the freeplay period.

8/25/11-

Thank you for a good first day of classes, etc.

IAWL: I welcomed a new student into the program.
Could have welcomed J&E more.

Verdict: Great. Good feeling in front of classes,
gym at night, talked to steve about good things.

TWO: gls, compassion.

8/29/11 -

I like the way it feels to wake up the next morning after a good night at a reading/party.

IAWL: I wrote Uncle Mike a good email today.

Verdict: 7/7

TWO: confidence

8/13/11.

10,439.

I like the way packing up makes it feel like you are starting over.

IAWL: I TRIED to say goodbye to A.

Verdict: 6/7.

TWO: compassion.

8/11/11.

10,437.

I like the way it feels to walk in wet sandals on grass that is too tall.

IAWL: I moved the car for mom today.

Verdict: 6 x Yes.

TWO: acceptance.

8/9/11.

10,435.

I like when you put the wrong date, and then realize the date is tomorrow's date, and it is like getting a free day.

IAWL: Today I trimmed the bushes for Mom & Peter.

Verdict: Today I was very relieved that the market rebounded. I had good peace of mind, and plus it rained. I was running and it started to rain...amazing.

TWO: Acceptance.

8/7/11.

10,433.

Thank you for dinner with U. Mike and Granny today.

IAWL: Had dinner at Granny's .

Verdict: Good--my mind was at ease most of the day.

TWO: practice non-attachment, acceptance.

8/3/11.

10,429.

I like the way it feels to run in the rain, the drizzle.

IAWL: talked to U. Mike and wrote Chrissy back.

Verdict: I feel good when I get writing done, and when I don't lose money.

TWO: IAWL.

8/2/11.

10,428

I like scooping ice cream with a fork. It means you are eating it with cake.

IAWL: I fixed the shades for Mom/Peter.

Verdict: Good, not great. Stocks lost 2.5% today. I ate ice cream, though, ate shrimp for dinner.

TWO: acceptance.

7/31/11.

10,426.

THANK YOU FOR THE RAIN, and how branches fall in storms.

IAWL: I helped move stuff out of Granny's today.

Verdcit: Very good, defined by my peace of mind, and the rain that fell, and how I sat on the porch and watched it.

TWO: run farther.

7/28/11.

10,423.

I like the way it feels, walking on grass barefoot.

IAWL: I cut G's shrubs.

Verdict: Good, I showed Granny old home videos, wrote a good bit, saw Mia.

TWO: Acceptance.

7/27/11.

10,422.

I like the way people come home, like a phenomenon, you can say, Peter came home, and you hear the door open, the hellos, etc. How easy it is to take this for granted.

IAWL: I drove the kids to swimming lessons for Mom.

Verdict: good day, I wrote, I went for a nice jog through the park.

TWO: Acceptance. Acceptance. Willful acceptance.

7/26/11.

10,421

I like the way iced coffee tastes in the morning.

IAWL: Said hello to Gushka and asked where she was from, etc.

Verdict: It was a good day. I ran in the park, ate well--chicken Marsala for lunch, Asian sesame chicken for dinner.

TWO: acceptance.

7/23/11.

10,418

I like the way Indiana Jones brings me back to childhood.

IAWL: Need to work on this.

Verdict: good, relaxing day of reading and writing.

TWO: IAWL.

7/21/11.

10,416.

I like the way the imperfections in the spackle come to light as the light changes.

IAWL: I helped J with his house.

Verdict: Good. Good Moby-DIck reading time, quiet.

TWO: Think about the day as a day in the morning. ODAAT.

7/20/11.

10,415.

I like the way it feels like a sauna when you step outside.

IAWL: I gave D 60% rather than 50%.

Verdict: Successful. I painted at J's today, and for long periods of time was absorbed in what I was doing, thought of nothing else than the sanding, the painting, etc.

TWO: couch cushions.

7/18/11.

10,413.

I like the way reading can make you feel like you are in another world, and then when you stop, you come back to reality.

IAWL: Hung a mirror today for M & P.

Verdict: Successful, but fretted quite a bit about stx today.

TWO: Wake up earlier, lay off stx.

7/17/11.

10,412.

I like the way dogwood flowers have little crimps in the middle.

IAWL: Asked A to hang out, even if she didn't get back to me.

Verdict: Good. Why? I wrote, read, went to B&N, yes, but also felt peaceful, clear headed.

TWO: WAKE UP EARLIER.

7/13/11.

10,408

I like the way home movies open up another world.

IAWL: Went to Flemings yesterday for dinner.

Verdict: I looked through a bunch of dad's things the Flemings gave me. Lots of good memories. Successful. Ate fresh mozzarella with tomato with Mom. Ate fish for dinner with lemon on it. Talked to Uncle Mike on the phone at night.

TWO:  compassion, reaching out.

7/11/11.

10,406

Thank you for the sprinkle of water that got on my toes when I was watering the tomato plants.

IAWL: Put UM's stuff together.

Verdict: I would say successful. I enjoyed reading Moby Dick, writing, being in the city, listening to the music while driving.

TWO: accepting everything, every mental state that comes my way. Checking stocks AC.

7/8/11.

10,403

I like the way the rain still gets you on the screened in porch.

IAWL: I asked A to hang out.

Verdict: Successful. Got a lot accomplished.

TWO: compassion.

7-7-11

10,402

I like the way you still get a little wet under the umbrella.

IAWL: Sent a msg to U. Bill today on fb.

Verdict: Very good. Need to be careful not to think too much about my situation, condition.

TWO: compassion

7/6/11.

10,401

I like the way the fish sizzles when it hits the oil.

IAWL: ???

Verdict: Successful. Starting to become conscious of the successful-ness of each day--and the extent to which it is or isn't, I'm finding, depends on where my thoughts are, the content of my consciousness much more than the things I am doing.

TWO: compassion.

7/5/11.

10,400

I like the way it feels to drive in the summertime with the window down, at the red light, and the LEDs from the radio.

IAWL: Went to granny's for her b-day.

Verdict: Successful.

TWO: Compassion.

7/3/11.

10,398

I like the way hot dogs burn on the grill.

IAWL: Gave J some fishing lures for birthday.

Verdict: Successful. Had 4th of July BBQ at K's. Felt pretty absorbed in what I was doing.

TWO: IAWL goals.

7/2/11.

10,397

I like the plastic bags we use in the summer time to put all the garbage in, the corn cobs, the watermelon, and then how we put it in the freezer so it doesn't smell.

IAWL: I don't know. I stayed home all day. Didn't talk to anyone, really. Still need to call A.

Verdict: Successful. I was absorbed in the writing for most of the morning. Watched Pale Rider at night. To be absorbed by something--is there anything better--is there anything more spiritual?

TWO: If I default to worrying about $, it is because of evolution, for want of security, rather than greed. That would mean suppressing that kind of worrying is short circuiting a product of evolution.

7/1/11.

Day 10,396.

I like the way Balkie talks on Perfect Strangers.

IAWL: I need to call A to see how her appointment went.

Verdict: Successful. I wrote, I read, I got to sit on the porch.

TWO: Focus more on, dwell on, getting pub'd in Ploughshares.

6/13/11.

Day 10,377.

I like the way mosquito bites itch in the summer and you scratch them and they get red and you think, I probably shouldn't scratch.

IAWL: I don't know. Maybe today I failed in this area.

Verdict: good. I worked at U. Mike's

TWO: see below.

6/12/11.

Day 10,376.


I like the way it feels to drive home from South Philly to Jersey after being a handyman for the day. 


IAWL: I worked for Uncle Mike, helped him get his house together.


Verdict: Good. I am very thankful for this bed, the fan blowing air on me. 


TWO: Reading - 10 p./day min.
         Spanish - 30 min./day

6/8/11.

Day 10,372.

I like the way there are kiddie pools on lawns.

IAWL: I made a joke with D next door, asked JS where he's going to school.

Verdict: great. I drilled in mom's curtains, sat on the porch and read, sold some stuff on CL.

TWO: completing the daily list. Better time management.

6/7/11.

10,371.

I like the way I can see veins through my skin.

IAWL: I cleaned out G's garage.

Verdict: good. Read Moby-Dick, too.

TWO: Focus more on daily list.

6/5/11.

Day 10,369.

I like the way Chinese food comes with the little tubs of duck sauce, and that there is such a sauce called duck sauce.

IAWL: I talked with U. M. today--he called and I answered and had a good talk.

Verdict: Great--I sold some of Kelly's stuff on CL, read, wrote, sat on the porch.

TWO: Live in the couch cushions.

6/4/11.

Day 10,368.

I like the way ice cream is sometimes too hard.

IAWL: I don't know.

V: good. I cleaned out Kelly's garage, wrote, watched Conviction.

TWO: living in love.

6/3/11.

Day 10,367.

I like the way Wendy's has that little sun porch/greenhouse in most of their locations.

IAWL: I worked on G's house today.

Verdict: Good--worked hard at Granny's, slept a snooze, worked on my writing, ate stew & ice cream, sat on the porch in the back.

TWO: living in love v. living in fear.

6/2/11.

Day 10,366.

I like the way mulch smells like manure.

IAWL: Spent time with K on the porch.

Verdict: Successful, my mind was clear and peaceful for most of the day, and I work in the garden.

TWO: Living in love rather than fear.

6/1/11.

Day 10,365

I like the way the humidity feels, all thick on your face.

IAWL: I talked to A's mom for a while today, gave A a t-shirt.

Verdict: Good, I sat in the coffee shop and wrote and talked to people, and sat on the porch.

TWO: living in love rather than in fear.

5/8/11.

Day 10,342.

I like the way diesel smells when you pass the gas station.

IAWL: I called Granny, said happy mother's day.

Verdict: Good, I went to the coffee shop.

TWO: compassion.

5/5/11.

10,339.

I like the way when I was young, and Mom would wash my hair and the water pump would make that noise, kicking in here and there.

IAWL: Well. I didn't really see anyone today.

Verdict: Good, I slept late, returned the Shakespeare books, cleaned out my place a bit.

TWO: Work on transferring binary csness to helping people.

5/2/11.

Day 10,336.

I like the way you put sugar in coffee, then stir it, and it dissolves.

IAWL: I left a memorial story on UJ's memorial site today.

Verdict: Good, I worked on the Shake paper again, read some ALR.

TWO: Need to transfer binary monetary consciousness onto writing--Am I up or down in terms of WRITING.

5/1/11.

Day 10,335.

I like the way hail sounds when it hits the roof of a car, especially when you're inside.

IAWL: I said C will be missed.

Verdict: It was a good day. I wrote Shakespeare all day, but I had eggs for breakfast, and it hailed and thundered.

TWO: Every time I encounter someone I know--even if I don't know them, I guess--I need to funnel my energy into connecting with them, being nice, asking about them, etc.

4/30/11.

Day 10,334.

I like the way the post office asks you if you want cash back, and that there is such a thing as "cash back."

IAWL: I sent S and G a nice sympathy e-mail today, though I feel bad that I won't be going to the funeral.

Verdict: Successful. I worked on my Shakespeare paper all day. It was torture, but torture in a good way, in that it was the only goal of the day, the only focus of my attention.

TWO: Lately I have been judging my own thoughts too much: Am I thinking about the right thing? Am I worrying too much? Am I aware enough? Am I happy? And it creates a kind of paranoia. It's good to have an awareness of what I'm doing, but I need to put more thrust into my writing, my passion, my work, or else life seems too empty, and I have too much space to be aware, which makes me paranoid. I need to remember that happiness needs investment in a passion, not only gratitude and peace of mind. But I do feel very grateful. I feel like I have minimal worries right now, but what I'm noticing is that when too much energy goes into gratitude, life starts to feel emptier. A balance between absorption in work and basking in gratitude is necessary.

4/28/11.

10,332.

I like the way he says "Gulf of Mexico" in Cripple Creek.

IAWL: I talked to D tonight about RSH. I also said to A: "But you're going to survive?" I could have asked more about what was wrong, though.

Verdict: Great. Uncle Jim is almost gone, which is sad, but a great way to immediatize life & death.

TWO: Seeing life (and spending resources) as I do when I'm on vacation--there is a sense of immediacy that puts things in perspective.

4/28/2011

Day 10,328.

I like the way sunglasses make everything dark, and how if you put them on inside, it's too dark.

IAWL: I have nothing today, but I saw a news clip about illegal recycling in China, the people who have to work there. Also, one good way to do IAWL is to ask people if they are going to events, tell them they should go, so they feel wanted.

Verdict: good. I exercised, I read, I am going to watch Alfred Hitchcock Presents.

TWO: Looking forward to the rest of the day only.

4/27/11.

Day 10,327.

I like the way tankers idle at gas stations, waiting to fill the underground tanks.

IAWL: I said thank you to A in S class.

Verdict: good, I had S class, taught, read, slept on a couch.

TWO: focusing on the rest of the day, looking forward to the rest of the day.

4/25/11.

10,326.

I like the way the rainwater gets onto your toes when you're wearing sandals.

IAWL: I sent a card to U. M & A.

Verdict: good...I read today that after his religious rebirth Tolstoy finished each journal entry with "if I am alive."

TWO: compassion.

4/23/11.

10,325.

I like the way cats hide under cars.

IAWL: Today I messaged cousin K to ask about uncle J.

Verdict: great day...I felt very good spiritually, felt as though I reached a turning point where I am able to appreciate the day viscerally instead of just intellectually. I feel like I was somehow able to shift my values so that I care more about the day than about stocks, money. Not sure how long it will last, but it happened.

TWO: Looking forward to living the rest of the day and nothing else.

4/22/11.

10,324.

I like the way I am careful not to open the blinds too much at night, thinking about how they can see me but I can't see them.

IAWL: Went to the reading tonight, talked to N and some other people.

Verdict: Good, I went to the gym in the morning, went to the faculty reading at night.

TWO: Compassion, and seeing mistakes as a tool for shaping the future, a tool for defining oneself, shaping oneself--a positive TOOL that is useful.

4/21/11.

10,323

I like the way the breasts stretch the fabric in between, thin and taut.

IAWL: I was nice to my kids today.

Verdict: Good, I had Shake in the morning, taught in the noon, had form and theory at night.

TWO: compassion

4/20/11.

10,322

I like the way Stone in Love comes on my Journey CD, the way it sounds late at night when I'm driving, a little less familiar than the other songs.

IAWL: I talked to B. Callaway today in San Antonio. She gave me a tour of the Alamo.

Verdict: Good--went to San Antonio. Had a nice drive.

TWO: I need to be more willing to be rejected by girls.

4/19/2011.

Day 10,321.

I like the way 5pm is traffic hour, how the streets get crowded & hot.

IAWL: I held the door for a fat girl today. I also need to pay more attention to kids dropping out of my class. I need to keep on them more. I want to help them get through the class. Too many are dropping out.

Verdict: Good--I had Shakespeare class, taught class, ate Chef Boyardee spaghetti.

TWO: Clearing my head of stocks.

4/18/11.

Day 10,319.

I like the way they ask you at the pharmacy, Do you want to wait or will you come back?

IAWL: I don't know. Didn't talk to anyone today or this weekend. Lots of work.

Verdict: It was a good day. I sat with the window open next to me. I think I am getting better at this. I focused on all the colors and smells at Krogers. The more attention you devote, the better the moment.

TWO: I need to realize that the only thing that really matters is how I treat people. More than that I need to realize that this life is mine, which means I need to pick my own values. I need to stop feeling swayed by society's valuation of things like money and nice things.

4/13/11.

Day 10,315.

I like the way presentations make me a little nervous the night before.

IAWL: I talked to no one today, really. Saw JH in the hall and talked about NB, but that was all.

Verdict: Successful, did a lot of work, enjoyed the air outside.

TWO: Compassion.

4/12/11.

Day 10,315.

I like the way cheese melts on tortilla chips in the oven.

IAWL: Uncle Mike's diabetes have gotten worse. I will have to email him soon.

Verdict: Today was successful.

TWO: Compassion.

4/11/11.

Day 10,314.

I like the way the wind blew in my face while riding home on my bike.

IAWL: I told S I liked her reading.

Verdict: Good.

TWO: Compassion

4/10/11.

Day 10,313.

Oh, folding up a sofa bed, how it goes down, then in.

IAWL: Who knows. Didn't really talk to anyone. Tried to say hi to Dr. C, but he didn't recognize me.

Verdict: Good.

TWO: Compassion.

4/9/11.

Day 10,312.

I like the way pens click, the noise of the clicking.

IAWL: I talked to no one today. But I think at the reading yesterday perhaps I should have been more explicit with my acknowledgments, my how-are-yous. Should have made it a point to tell the readers I liked their stuff.

Verdict: Success. Today was a successful day.

TWO: compassion.

4/7/11.

Day 10,311.

I like the way gas stations are lit up so fluorescent at night, so much brighter than the surrounding parts of town, but you see the fluorescence and you know it is safe under there, supervised in some way, protected.

IAWL: I asked J about next semester, talked to S at the book sale.

Verdict: Good. Successful.

TWO: I need to work on asking people how they are doing, like M did tonight with D in F&T. Also, I need to get away from stocks.

4/6/11.

Day 10,310

I like the way you have to sign on the back of the check.

IAWL: I asked to talk to M on VP.

Verdict: Successful. I did a lot of work. Got a travel voucher.

4/5/11.

Day 10,309.

I like the way Otis lets himself into the cell.

IAWL: Talked to C and S in the coffee shop today, briefly. And J.

Verdict: Very successful. I had conferences, I read, I went food shopping and bought ice cream.

4/4/11.

Day 10,308.

I like the way that cotton sheets feel on my skin.

IAWL: I said hi to B today coming out the elevator. Talked to A, too.

Verdict: Success. I had office hours, CNF workshop.

4/3/11.

Day 10,307.

I like the way eggs cook slowly in the pan, pushing them around with the spatula.

IAWL: I don't know. I emailed J with some nice comments on her paper, etc.

Verdict: good--I had eggs for breakfast, PB&J for lunch, spaghetti with Parmesan for dinner. I read a lot.

4/1/11.

Day 10,305.

I like the way people stand up as soon as the plane lands, and then wait standing up for 10 minutes before the doors open.

IAWL: I met up with S in St. Pete's today, had a couple drinks, tried to be very nice.

Verdict: Great. Almost missed a plane at 7am, checked into the Hilton, drank Yuenglings at night on Tampa Bay.

3/31/11.

Day 10, 304.

I like the way the qwerty keyboard is arranged.

IAWL: I smiled at a woman at the supermarket today.

Verdict: Successful day. I had two classes, taught class in library.

3/30/11.

Day 10,303.

I like the way, when you cut PB&J, how the jelly stays on the outside of the bread from the knife.

IAWL: I didn't talk to anyone today.

Verdict: Successful. I read a lot, wrote some, prepared a Shakespeare prez.

3/29/11.

Day: 10,302

I like the way the sauce tastes in Chef Boyardee canned pasta.

IAWL: I had conferences today with the students. I wish I could have had more time to really speak with them, but I did my best.

Verdict: Successful. I had class, I had conferences, I had a Subway sandwich. I read Zorba.

3/27/11.

I like the way beer bottles are designed so that you need a bottle opener to open them. They could have had a screw top, but I like that you need a bottle opener.

IAWL: I offered Z my computer chair.

Verdict: Success. I worked on my CNF draft, read some at the coffee shop.

3/26/11

I like the way macaroni and cheese has clumps of cheese in it if you don't mix it well enough.

IAWL: I went to H & Z's housewarming party tonight. Not many people there but I went and talked to people.

Verdict: Very successful, I laughed and had a good time at H & Z's.

3/24/11.

I like the way the suds magically spring up when I run the hot water over the liquid.

IAWL: Today I asked J ab. being married, told him congrats.

Verdict: Successful.

3/21/11.

Thank god for my freedom. At times I feel this can't last, something needs to come tumbling down, crushing my freedom.

IAWL: I called A today, asked her about school. I also told J she should come to the reading on Friday. It is good to make people feel wanted.

Verdict: Great.

3/20/11.

I like the way skinny girls look, how their jeans hug their thighs when they sit.

IAWL: Steve is troubled with his life. I tried to give him some perspective.

Verdict: Successful. I broke up with CX. Sad, but the freedom feels right.

3/18/11.

I like the way beer bottles are either twist off or not twist off.

IAWL: I gave a girl next to me the password at big mike's.

Verdict: Good.

3/17/11.

I like the way my teeth feel after I brush and mouthwash.

IAWL: I might have had more to say to Matt at the gym, but I did OK.

Verdict: Good, I wrote a lot, read Stoner, had a Blue Moon.

3/16/11.

I like the way ice cream tastes when you mix it with milk.

IAWL: I should have said better goodbyes last night at Cool Beans. I should have tried to help James more tonight, though I did help him some.

Verdict: Good.

3/15/11.

I like the way the locker room smells, like chlorine.

IAWL: I went to Cool Beans today with the dept.

Verdict: Successful.  

3/14/11.

I like the way a fever can induce spirituality, make you want to just be alone on the couch, basking in the rest.

IAWL: Today I tried to make A feel better about her rejection. I gave my Kroger card to guy ahead of me in line. I gave a dollar to MDA.

Verdict: Good. I read, I wrote. I talked to Christine. I went food shopping for orange juice.

3/13/11.

I like the rainy air coming through the window.

IAWL: I don't know.  I didn't talk to anyone today, really.

Verdict: good.

3/12/11.

I like the way Italian soda seems so crisp and clean.

IAWL: I asked Ari how her new place was working out.

Verdict: Successful.  I read in the grass, sat on a deck in a chair and read, drinking Italian soda.

3/11/11.

I like the way people in front of you in the drive-thru line always take forever.

IAWL: Going to a party tonight at April's.  Will try to be nice, meet as many people as possible.

Verdict: Day's not over, but so far, successful.

3/10/11.

I like the way life seems so angsty, like a relationship will decide the fate of the world.

IAWL: Didn't really help anyone today.

Verdict: Successful.

3/3/11.

I like the way it is not comfortable to sleep with socks on, how you need to take them off when you go to bed.

IAWL: I sent a link to April today to help her with her lesson plans.  I also chatted with Josh and Hillary in class.

Verdict: Successful.  Very excited to see Christine tomorrow.

3/2/11.

I like the way that sometimes clothes don't dry completely in the dryer and you have to hang them up all around your apartment.

IAWL: I ran into April in the coffee shop tonight.  I wanted to do something for her, but couldn't really think of anything.

Verdict: successful, I washed the tub today, and vacuumed, and felt the oscillating fan.

3/1/11.

I like the way that I think about the 35yo me, or the 47yo me, and how I try to anticipate how I will feel about life then, the passions I'll still have and those I'll have lost, the spirits inside of me that are still alive, and those that will be dead.

IAWL: I need to remind myself that really the only thing that matters in any cosmological sense is not how much I participate in class, not how smart my peers think I am, not how good my writing is, or how socially adept I am, or how attractive I am to girls, but something much simpler: how I treat people.  (today I sent U. Mike a joke)

Verdict: Successful--I taught a good class and showed My Cousin Vinny.

2/28/11.

I especially like the way I can get up in the morning and just sit on my couch with cold orange juice.

IAWL: I sent Jacklyn a link today that might help her with her research.

Verdict:  Good--I had office hours today and ate two cold oranges tonight.

2/27/11.

I like the way PB&J sandwiches get smushed if you carry them around in a bag all day, and how, when you take them out in the Ziploc bag, how the jelly has bled through the bread.

IAWL: The other day I talked to Karen just to be nice. I didn't want to--I don't know why--but I did. There is something about her I don't like, but I talked to her anyway.

Verdict: Highly successful, got to go grocery shopping, got to feel rainy air coming through the window.

2/26/11.

I like the way cheap American cheese tastes when paired with pickles, like the McDonald's cheeseburger when I was 5.

IAWL: I talked to Mia today on video chat, etc.

Verdict: Successful--I read a lot, revised some work, talked to Steve, Christine, Mom, Mia, went to the gym and rode a stationary bike and sweat.

2/24/11.

The bitterness of pickles, their rubbery skin.

IAWL: I said hello to Bri today and asked her how her semester was going.

Verdict: Success.

2/23/11.

I like the way oscillating fans leave you every few seconds, and you have to wait for them to come back, only to be left again.

IAWL: I emailed Ari today to see how she was doing.  Also, I made eye contact with Jimmy the bum and said I was sorry when he asked for my change.

Verdict: Yes, today was good.  I had a nice car ride to the county clerk's office.  I had overly sweet coffee.

2/22/11.

I like the way, that little ounce of disappointment when you are expecting a package in the mail and it's not in your box, and you have to wait another 24 hours.

IAWL: I should have been a little friendlier with Sarah today. I was getting into my car and just wanted to get out of here, but I should have at least said her name. But I did stop Juan after class and ask how he was doing with the assignment.

Verdict: It was a good day, successful.

2/21/11.

I like the way eggs taste when they are slightly undercooked and loaded with salt.

IAWL: I sent U. Mike an email, which I think he liked.  Also I called Ari the other day to check on her.  She never called me back, but it was a nice gesture.

Verdict: Success.

2/20/11.

I like the way this morning felt, the way a Sunday should feel, with the air coming through the window, up earlier than I normally am.

IAWL: I don't interact with many people. But my awareness of the idea IS heightened by this little exercise.

Verdict: Yes, the morning itself made it successful.  The air, the feeling of peacefulness.

2/19/11.

I like that way that the cold metal on a pull out couch plays on my bare legs when I get up in the morning.

IAWL: I asked the barista how he was doing today.  That counts for something.

Verdict: Yes it was successful, I read some amazing stories by Carver.  

2/18/11.

I like the way students don't follow directions, how hard it is for them, how every time I collect papers, I know some will not be stapled.

IAWL: I don't come in contact with many people.

Verdict: Today was yet another successful day. I did a lot of work and had eggs for breakfast, pizza for dinner, and I picked the pepperoni off and ate them separately.

2/17/11.

I like the way that I come home from class with a feeling of regret, that I did not talk enough, did not connect enough, did not live up to my communicative potential.

IAWL: I asked John my student if he was OK, and I told Juan to come to me if he needs help.

Verdict: Yes, this is one more day that can be classed as successful.  I talked to Steve about his date with Beka, and talked to Christine about whatever.

2/16/11.

I'm going to say the air, again, from the window.  It deserves two days.

IAWL: It is a wonderful life, indeed, though I really don't come in contact with enough people to "help" them on a daily basis, though maybe this suggests I need to start creating those opportunities the best I can.

Verdict: Yes, today was a good day.  Another unit of life can be wrapped up and labeled as successful.  I don't know what tomorrow will be, but today was successful: I made a plane reservation for Christine, I went to the grocery story and bought yogurt and orange juice.

2/15/11.

I like the way the air comes through the window, when it is first starting to warm up from the cold winter.

IAWL: I tried to help John my student today.

Verdict: Today was great.  Yes, it was a success.  I talked to Christine, I had hot dogs for lunch, I read Hemingway.

2/14/11.

Thank you for Christine.

IAWL: I don't know.  I didn't really talk to anyone today other than small talk.

Verdict: Yes, today was successful.  Back with Christine.

2/13/11.

I like eating pancakes with plastic utensils.

IAWL: I didn't talk to anyone today, besides mom.

Verdict: Begrudgingly, yes, it was OK.

2/12/11.

--

2/11/11.

OK.  Today, I like the way I get this sickness, like a nausea from being alone too long, isolated.  I thought in the coffee shop how nice it would be just to talk to this girl or that girl.  Yet this is what I am thankful for, this sick feeling, the tension, the frustration, the sadness.

IAWL: Well, I stayed in most of the day, save for the gym, and the coffee shop.  I talked to no one at either place.  But I did talk to Joe Bruckner and dad's other friends on the phone today, and that was nice, and I was nice to them.

Verdict: Well, I guess it was a successful day.  I did stuff, I wrote, etc.  But I wonder, what if these are all lies.  What if none of these days have really been "successful"?  What if I said today was a failure.  Hell with it.  Today was a big fucking failure.  I was lonely and sick and sad.  But who gives a shit.  This post is all it comes to, and then it's over, and tomorrow begins.  And the days will keep coming, regardless of my (in)ability to make them successes.  You can have a string of successes, but sooner or later all the deficiencies catch up to you, and what can you do.  Go to bed.

2/10/11.

I like the way that I get sad.  The way that I think about a particular girl, and the way I imagine that life would be so much better if I knew her.

IAWL: Today I did OK.  I could have talked more with my students though in the moments before class started.

Verdict: SUCCESS.  Yes, today was a success, again.  Thank you.  I lived, I breathed, I enjoyed the music, the letter I got from Mia, the walk to class, the cold on my face, the stock market.  

2/9/11.

I like the way cold weather makes us want to drink hot drinks, like hot chocolate with marshmallows.

IAWL: I did better today.  Had a nice talk with the bank teller.

Verdict: Yes, today was successful.  I enjoyed the coffee shop, the reading, the writing, the frigid cold, trying to avoid the ice as I stepped over it, or shimmying across it so as not to slip.

2/8/11.

I like the way I can walk into a supermarket, and they have the shredded cheese, the greens with the mist spraying down, the thousands of loaves.

IAWL: I could have done better today, again.  I could have been more sociable with the coffee guy.  I feel bad for him, working in there every day like a dog.  But I can feel myself becoming more conscious of the effort, which is the purpose of IAWL.

Verdict: Yes, today I enjoyed myself, the meals, the walking to and from class.  Yes, today was successful.  

2/7/11.

I like the way that the nipple still provides such excitement, like candy.

IAWL: I could have done better today.  I could have talked longer to Sara Shr.  I could have talked to people after class, said Hi to people as I came into class.

2/6/11.

It is when I am recording each day that I feel most spiritual, happy.  I like the way that flannel sheets feel on my bare legs, especially when it's cold in my place.

IAWL: (btw, this stands for It's a Wonderful Life.  The idea is to record choices that I make that will help me to lead the kind of life that GB did.  Though, some days it is hard to do, as I don't have any contact with anyone, like today.)

2/5/11.

Thank you for the ability to just sit and read for 8 hours a day.

IAWL: The only person I encountered today was the guy at the bookstore.  But I did thank him.  

2/4/11.

Thank you for the Twilight Zone, late at night, the experience of which is incredibly comforting, transcending.

2/3/11.

Thank you for the coffee shop.  I resolved to go there at least 3-4 times per week.  What a delight, to sit in a peaceful environment with other people around you, working diligently.

IAWL (It's a wonderful life journal): I stayed in most of the day today and interacted with no one but the guy at the coffee shop who made me hot chocolate.  But I was very polite to him and offered to clear the table myself.

2/2/11.

The Lord has blessed us with THREE snow days this week, at least.  We may get Friday, too.  Meanwhile I am holed up in my place, just me in here for 11 straight days with no class, and this is the end of day 6.  I do get lonely but I am thankful for the loneliness, the sheltered-ness.  How many more times will I get to feel this way? Today was a really good day.  I got to read a lot, which is relaxing, and wrote some, too, which always feels good. My dinner was amazing: three chicken thighs, mashed potatoes, corn, and bread, with a sip of vino.

2/1/11.

The morning was really amazing today.  It was a snow day, no school, and the feeling of waking up, seeing the snow outside the window, and having the whole day in front of you, to yourself.  Amazing, with warm socks, etc. "And yet it all seems limitless..."

1/31/11.

SNOW DAY

1/30/11.

I like the way I have complete freedom.  No girlfriend, no wifre...no friends, even.  The day is entirely mine.  Thank you.

1/29/11.

I like the way that the wind blows in warm from the window, just enough to remind me of spring.

1/28/11.

I like the way that Friday night feels pregnant, as if Saturday and Sunday will yawn onward like the ocean, and waking up tomorrow will be like setting sail, soon to be lost in the middle, horizonless.

1/27/11.

I like the way, no, I really love the way, I need to feel as if I am good at something, or at least that I fit into some identity to keep my world from imploding.

1/26/11.

I like the way I can tuck my feet in between couch cushions when reading a book.

1/25/11

Thank you for the nice dinner with music and warm dry socks, etc.

1/23/11

thank you for Italian love songs.

January 22, 2011.

Thank you for warm socks.

Dec. 6, 2009.

Another day in Paradiso. 

December 5, 2009.

Another day in PARADISE. 

December 4, 2009.

Another day in Paradise. 

November 29, 2009.

Thank you for an egg burrito. 

November 28, 2009.

Thank you for Froot Loops.

November 26, 2009.

Thank you for a nice hot feast yesterday. 

November 25, 2009.

Thank you for Christine's visit and our stay at the Bellagio.

November 20, 2009.

Another day in paradise. 

Another Day in Paradise.

Another day in Paradise. 

November 17, 2009.

Another day in paradise.

November 16, 2009.

Another day in paradise. 

November 15, 2009.

Thank you for the way Coco Puffs turn milk into chocolate milk. 

November 14, 2009.

Thank you for no more gambling.

November 13, 2009.

Thank you for the gentle sprinkle last night, that brief little whiff of ozone released in the dusk.

November 11, 2009.

Thank you for the way I waste time in the morning.

November 10, 2009.

Thank you for cold sugary drinks with ice cubes.

November 9, 2009.

Thank you for clean burst J&J floss. 

November 8, 2009.

Thank you for Christine coming to visit. 

November 7, 2009.

Thank you for gratitude. 

November 6, 2009.

Thank you for such a thing as sprinkling sugar on cereal. 

November 5, 2009.

Thank you for the way my shirt smells like laundry detergent. 

November 4, 2009.

Thank you for the way tuna fish smells.

Nov. 3, 2009.

Thank you for the way pancakes bubble as they cook, and the way a sliver spatula can slip under its skin and peel the tenderness from the Teflon.

November 2, 2009.

Thank you for the smell in my room.  And all other foul smells.

November 1, 2009.

Thank you for the courage to dig myself out of the red, and the wisdom to know not to go back. 

October 31, 2009.

Thank you for the nice talk with C. this morning.

October 30, 2009.

Thank you for that vicious cycle I have been wrung through so that I may better understand what is important.

October 28, 2009.

Thank you for the time of year when it gets too cold and I need to bring out the heater, the stale, amber smell it makes when first fired up for the season.

October 27, 2009.

Thank you for the lady in the McDonald's parking lot who lives in a homemade cart. 

October 26, 2009.

Thank you for the times when I think I'm dying. 

October 25, 2009.

Thank you for grilled cheese dipped in tomato soup.

October 24, 2009.

Thank you for such a thing as addiction.

October 19, 2009.

Thank you for the brown dust that blows in from the mountains. 

October 16, 2009.

Thank you for the way I have no spirits. 

October 15, 2009.

Thank you for the way I'd do anything to be able to sleep longer in the morning. 

October 12, 2009.

Thank you for my health today.

October 10, 2009.

Thank you for the nice evening at the Bellagio last night, the fall display. 

October 9, 2009.

Thank you for cowboys singing sad, sad songs. 

October 8, 2009.

Thank you for the way my mouth feels after using mouthwash. 

October 7, 2009.

Thank you for the way ice settles as you pour the drink into the glass. 

October 6, 2009.

Thank you for the smell of cold in the jack & cokes, the little ice cubes, the two straws instead of one.

October 5, 2009.

Thank you for sweet and cold fruit punch.

October 4, 2009.

Thank you for wind that is too cold.

October 3, 2009.

Thank you for what is and what should never be.

October 2, 2009.

Thank you for free slot play.

October 1, 2009.

Thank you for the way it is cold when I get out of the shower.

September 30, 2009.

Thank you for the cool windy air today.

Septemeber 29, 2009.

Thank you for the Golden Nugget.

September 28, 2009.

Thank you for recovery from last night.

September 27, 2009.

Thank you for hot tea.

September 26, 2009.

Thank you for the ability to get out of bed this morning.

September 25, 2009.

Thank you for the sound flip flops make against my heel.

September 24, 2009.

Thank you for hotels.

September 23, 2009.

Thank you for safe landings.

9/18/09.

Thank you for the way I have a decent job.

Sept. 17, 2009.

Thank you for the way it is cold when I get out of the shower.

September 16, 2009.

Thank you for the way I can get through it.

September 15, 2009.

Thank you for the way the back of my neck needs to be trimmed every week.

September 14, 2009.

Thank you for the way none of this will really matter in the end.

September 13, 2009.

Thank you for the way I don't have to stay here forever, that I can leave in just a few months.

September 12, 2009.

Thank you for this constant feeling that I am not doing enough, not disciplined enough, and so therefore I am worth less than I would be if I had been doing more.

September 11, 2009.

Thank you for the way sandals can give you blisters when they're new.

September 10, 2009.

Thank you for the way I can make myself get up on days I have to work, and the way I can't on days I don't.

September 6, 2009.

Thank you for the way you can buy tuna in water or oil.

August 26, 2009.

Thank you for the way the temperature changes when I walk outside of my house, or into it.

8/25/09.

Today I am thankful for the Old Spice scent that Dad used to wear, and thankful that I can wear it every day for the rest of my life if I want to.

August 24, 2009.

This blog needs to be about Zen--those things I would miss if I were another species, a denizen of another planet. Most entries will probably include the phrase "the way that" and may go on to detail sensations, textures, fleeting everyday sentiments that I'd otherwise never notice.

Thank you for the way the Sun makes the skin on my forearm feels as though it's on fire when I am sitting in my car at a traffic light.

August 23, 2009.

Thank you for Mom, Kelly, and Mia visiting.

August 22, 2009.

Thank you for a visitor.

August 21, 2009.

Thank you for the heat.

August 14, 2009.

Thank you for a job that will start in two weeks.

August 9, 2009.

Thank you for no job to go to.

August 6, 2009.

Thank you for a safe place to stay tonight.

August 5, 2009.

Thank you for my new place, the AC, the clean hardwood floors, the clean sheets.

August 4, 2009.

Today, thank you for the free gourmet breakfast, the bed, the air conditioning.

August 1, 2009.

It seems that I've made it to August of 2009. Thank you for this desert heat, the motel room, the air conditioning.

July 30, 2009.

Thank you for safe passage to LV, for beauty, and for air conditioning.

July 22, 2009.

Thank you for medicine.

July 17, 2009.

I'm really grateful for soft, dry pillows to sleep on.

July 16, 2009.

Thank you for the numbers, that I made it past the 15th, the halfway point of this month.

July 15, 2009.

When I think about it, I am really grateful that I have real friends, ones that do not cheat, double speak, fly away. Really, very grateful.

July 10-12, 2009.

It was raining today, just a sprinkle, passing, but for a brief moment while getting out of my car I smelled that misty, refreshing stench, and the next breath it was gone.

July 9, 2009.

Thank you for Golden Grahams for breakfast, and the cold milk that went over them, and the coffee I might possibly receive in a few minutes.

July 4-8, 2009.

Thank you for the chance to try.

June 29 - July 3, 2009.

Thank you for brown trout, the pretty dots they have all over.

June 25-28, 2009.

Thank you tremendously for the warmth and shelter of last night.

June 21-24, 2009.

Thank you for another day in paradise.

June 18-20.

Perhaps the best few days of my life. Thank you tremendously. I feel that this is the pinnacle of my life. From here on out it can only get worse.

June16-17, 2009.

Thank you for "I go to bed, feeling the same way."

June 14-15, 2009.

Thank you for the way the mouthwash burns my mouth.

June 13, 2009.

Thank you for the trip to Safeway.

June 10-12, 2009.

Thank you for the way the summer has gone so far.

June 8-9, 2009.

Thank you for the Honeymoon I went on last night, and then how it went all over me. Thank you for hangovers, the reminder that I am not yet gone.

June 7, 2009.

Thank you for the colorful clothes she wears.

June 3-6, 2009.

Thank you for the wind last night, Blue Moon, and a night-time drive through the wilderness.

June 2, 2009.

Thank you for hot tubs.

June 1, 2009.

Thank you for Hot Pockets.

May 31, 2009.

Thank you for warm oatmeal in the morning.

May 29-30, 2009.

Thank you for Safeway.

May 28, 2009.

Thank you for a space heater.

May 27, 2009.

Thank you for the bed, again. The bed is the best part.

May 26, 2009.

Thank you for the bed, again.

May 25, 2009.

Thank you for the bed with clean sheets.

May 7, 2009.

There is something about lying on a couch at 1am, watching a 20-year-old movie with the lights out. It has some actor in it like Bill Murray or Bruce Willis who is older now, but here he looks so young. And eating chips, with a drink that has ice that clinks. Tomorrow I will be gone.

May 6, 2009.

Thank you for the way water appears to be rushing from the faucet, even if it is just the aerator that gives it this effect.

Cinco de Mayo, 2009.

Me, I like sleeping, 'specially in my Molly's chamber.

May 4, 2009.

Thank you for the way a pen writes when it starts to run out of ink.

May 3, 2009.

Thank you for the way you have to start rinsing from the top, and work your way down.

May 1, 2009.

Saw Chrissy and her baby today, Alexis. I am thankful that they are OK.

April 30, 2009.

Thank you for the way the ice clinks against the glass as you stir the coffee with the straw.

April 29, 2009.

Thank you for the various memories of a wet bathing suit on my thighs, dripping, my hands on the joystick of an arcade joystick, bare feet on painted cement, wishing I had a quarter.

April 28, 2009.

Thank you for the way that scissors won't cut if you use a right-handed pair with your left hand.

April 27, 2009.

Thank you for Jeremy the wicked, and pools of maroon below.

April 26, 2009.

Thank you for the smell of chlorine, for walking on blue and green tile, air conditioning on my face when it is 90 outside.

April 25, 2009.

Thank you for arms with gold and silver bangles that jangle against each other.

April 24, 2009.

Yes, I am doing an arm meditation. Thank you for muscular v. skinny arms.

April 23, 2009.

Thank you for for tattooed arms.

April 22, 2009.

Thank you for arms akimbo.

April 21, 2009.

Thank you for arms raised in a V.

April 20, 2009.

Thank you for tread wear indicators.

April 19, 2009.

Thank you for the Mob of Angels.

April 17, 2009.

Thank you for desert sand, even if none exists, just the thought of it.

April 16, 2009.

Thanks for the harvest at Pilgrim's Point.

April 15, 2008.

Thank you for Whitman's Sampler, especially the cherry cordials.

April 14, 2008.

Thank you for my muscles. Me big muscle man. If I were there when the ship went down, I could have saved those people. I could have saved Lincoln, too.

April 13, 2009.

Thank you for Harry Kalas.

April 12, 2009.

Thank you for plastic Easter eggs.

April 11, 2009.

Thank you for the Bonneville Salt Flats.

April 10, 2009.

Thank you for mozzarella.

April 9, 2009.

Thank you for frozen pizza.

April 7, 2009.

Thank you for cereal with cold milk.

April 5th to the 6th.

Thank you for the bed.

April 4, 2009.

Thank you for red tape. No, I mean, the actual red tape. Otherwise Steve would've had to have gotten a whole new tail light.

April 3, 2009.

Thank you for Flaming Pie.

April 1 & 2.

Thank you for orange juice in the morning, hitting the back of my throat.

March 31, 2009.

Thank you for the note that Steve left on my windshield today. "You're AMAZIN' professor flanagan. Wanna go on a date?"

March 30, 2009.

Thank you for good friends and family.

March 29, 2009.

Thanks for Murphy's Law.

March 28, 2009.

Thank you for a safe, warm house with hot meals, hot showers.

March 27, 2009.

TU4 hot shower.

March 26, 2009.

Thanks very much for swift recovery from EOTTD.

March 25, 2009.

Thank you dearly for dreams of Clearwater.

March 12, 2009.

Thank you for the peanut butter and honey sandwich today. I used my own honey and PB, but I borrowed two slices of bread from the RT'09 collective food basket. I owe you a slice, Steve.

March 11, 2009.

Thank you for Shop Rite, grocery carts, and checkout aisles.

March 10, 2009.

Thank you for chocolate milk from Wegman's.

March 9, 2009.

Man, today I fell into a hole bad. Took me a while to get out. Thank you.

March 8, 2009

Thank you for daylight savings time.

March 7, 2009.

Thank you for the nice pizza lunch with Stephano today.

March 6, 2009.

Thank you for cold strawberry banana juice.

March 5, 2009.

I took this down by the river during the snowstorm. Thank you.

March 4, 2009.

Thank you for the hot shower, the aftershave, the razor burn, the pimple on my forehead.

March 3, 2009.

Thank you for the nice time this morning at GH (we've moved on from GG) with A.

March Two, 2009.

Thank you for the 6 inches (of snow!! God, what'dya think?).

March 1, 2009.

Thanks very much for the snowstorm tonight. How many more times will I see snow? I don't know.

February 28, 2009.

Thank you for hot green tea.

February 27, 2009.

Thank you for another radioactive pill to swallow.

February 26, 2009.

Thank you for the bluefish for dinner, the Dixie Fry in which to fry it up.

February 25, 2009.

Thank you for the quiet intimacy with myself tonight, listening to WN. There is no intimacy like the one you have with yourself.

February 24, 2009.

Thank you for the free sample of coffee and cookies at Starbucks.

February 23, 2009.

Thank you for money to buy stamps, and how nice they look there in the corner of a white rectangle.

February 22, 2009.

Thank you for the spaghetti dinner with provolone melted on it, and Parmesan sprinkled.

February 21, 2009.

Thank you for hot water in the shower.

Feb. 19, 2009.

Thank you for the tea tree oil, though it smells terribly and makes me gag.

February 18, 2009.

Thank you for vitamins, which may or may not do anything.

February 17, 2009.

Thank you for health care, and exorbitant medical bills.

February 16, 2009.

Thank you for everything going smoothly today with the iodine. No mishaps, thank you.

February 15, 2009.

Thank you for the homemade sangria last night, the money to buy the ingredients, the time to make it, a friend to drink it with.

Valentine's Day.

Thank you for the Valentine's Day muffins on the kitchen table.

Friday the 13th.

Thank you for a Freddy-Cougar childhood. Thank you for seeing another Valentine's Day. Thank you for the chocolate in the kitchen.

Thank you for that self-intimate, dark and cozy-soulful feeling that comes to me as I get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, as I squint in the glow of the stained-glass night-lite above the sink.

February 12, 2009.

This is the 212th post on this blog, and it is Feb. 12th, or 2/12. Thank you for this. Thank you also for my clarity of mind, no major illnesses, my general well-being tonight.

February 11, 2009.

Feeling really lousy tonight. Thank you for this sadness. Thank you for the lacking.

February 10, 2009.

How many more February Tenths will I have? Forty? Seventy? Zero? I don't know, but...

Thanks be to the hives, the bumps still lingering, traveling, the bugs under my skin, thanks for them, but also for not too many of them.

February 9, 2009.

Thank you for my kids. Yes, mine. The kidnapping makes it official.

February 8, 2009.

Thank you for blankets, a planet that has blankets, a house with blankets, a bed with a blanket, the feeling of security when my legs are tucked under a blanket, the warmth, the splendor, the eternal bliss.

Thank you also for the razor burn, how it stings under my neck, all over the most sensitive regions, an hour after I have shaved.

February 7, 2009.

Thank you for a working printer, the money to buy ink, the electric to run it, the paper on which to print.

Fat Friday.

Thank you for mozzarella sticks at Arby's with Steve. Our service was GREAT, in case you can't tell by the picture.

Trash-Can Turkey.

I found turkey in the trash today, but it was still in the wrapper, so I put it on a sandwich with cheese and rye, even though I am supposed to be a vegetarian, I'd rather eat it than see it trashed. Thank you. So good.

February 4, 2009.

Thank you for the snow today, the feeling of the giving-way under my feet, as I slide.

Groundhog Day, 2009.

Thank you for a washer and dryer, so I don't have to do laundry myself.

February 1, 2009.

Well, it is February and I am still alive to see the snow and ice. Thank you for this, and thank you for the words that appeared on screen as I typed today.

January 31, 2009.

Thank you for a bedroom, a place to sleep, to write, to feel privacy.

January 29, 2009.

Thank you for the delicious fish I had at Wegman's today. Yellow lemon pepper fish.

January 28, 2009.

Thank you for the movie, Groundhog's Day.

January 26, 2009.

Thanks for the bedding, the goose down.

January 25, 2009.

Thank you for a great birthday party at Granny's house. Chocolate cake, whoa Nelly.

January 23, 2009.

Thank you for freedom and all that is entailed in it.

January 22, 2009.

Thank you for the delicious chicken with mayonnaise. It was very delectable.

January 21, 2009.

Thank you for a nice first day of the semester.

January 20, 2009.

Thank you dearly for the chicken and cheese sandwich with melted provolone. Holy moley. You have no idea. Thank you. Thank you also for the CD from Ari. That was very sweet of her.

January 19, 2009.

Thank you for cold water. Thank you for today, for a chance to relax.

January 18, 2009.

Thank you dearly for my recovery from the fever. Thank you very much, I mean it.

January 17, 2009.

Thank you for the fever.

January 14-15, 2009.

Thank you for Steve and Ari, who I went with to see The Wrestler last night on my birthday. Thank you for hot Panera Bread soup, cheddar and broccoli.

January 13, 2009.

Thank you lord, I am very grateful for the medicine. Thanks to methimazole and propanolol, I will live. Thank you.

January 12, 2009.

Oh lord. Thank the lord. I feel so lucky tonight, so blessed. Tonight I am happy because I found out that I only have a thyroid problem, which is not a big deal. Thank you lord for a merciful diagnosis.

January 10-11, 2009

Thank you for the gift from Ari today. It was much appreciated.

January 9, 2009.

Thank you for the nice time at Panera Bread by myself, eating hot soup and bread. I enjoyed it.

January 7-8, 2009.

Thank you for non non compos. Thank you for a furnace.

January 6, 2009.

Thank you for fried shrimp and soda with crushed ice.

January 5, 2009.

Thank you for Bachelor Party.

January 4, 2009.

Hello, thank you for the steam bath last night, and thank you for Panera Bread's broccoli cheddar soup.

January 3, 2009.

Thank you for clean clothes.

January 2, 2009.

Thank you for the couch to lay on today while I was sick. And the cold apple juice with real ice cubes in it.

January 1, 2009.

Thank you for the nice dinner at Buca di Beppo last night with Steve and Ari. We had pizza, and our waiter, Harnold, was very agreeable.

December 31, 2008.

Thank you for Mia's visit today. Very enlightening.

December 30, 2008.

Thank you for this nice bed, the flannel sheets, the warmth. Thank you for Kelly and Mom and Ari and Steve and Phil and everyone else in the world.

December 29, 2008.

Thank you for the Dunkin' Donuts iced lattes today. I had two.

December 28, 2008.

Thank you for my apparent good health, the ability to breathe, run, sit, sleep.

December 27, 2008.

Thank you for the time at Borders, just hanging out with Ari, reading.

December 26, 2008.

Thank you today for cherry vanilla yogurt, for ice cold drinks, and for a super fast Internet connection.

December 25, 2008.

Thank you for the Christmas today, and the memories of those that have passed.

December 16, 2008.

Thank you for the ice-cold apple juice. As my one student would say, drinking it is well worth wild.

December 7, 2008.

Thanks for the cold ice in my drinks, the feel of it on my lips.

December 5, 2008.

Thank you for the bitter cold.

December 4, 2008.

Thank you for I warm, dry place to do my grading. This took up the entire day, but thank you. Thank you also for the milk, the orange juice, the pizza.

December 3, 2008.

Thank you for all the grading. It keeps my mind busy and helps me to avoid negative thoughts.

December 2, 2008.

I have it so good. Thank you for the warm, dry bed tonight, and the pillows.

November 30, 2008.

Thank you for movie night with Ari. Superbad was super funny.

September 11, 2008.

Thank you for the very nice cheese hoagie.

September 9, 2008.

Thank you for the cool, cool rain today, and getting soaked all in it.

September 8, 2008.

Today will be crazy, but thank you for the craziness. It is much better than some other things that end in -ness.

September 7, 2008.

Thank you for good time last night, the chance to meet someone new.

September 6, 2008.

Thank you for air conditioning and cold milk and a soft pillow.

September 4, 2008.

Thanks for a bagel for breakfast. Thank you for the pillows last night.

September 3, 2008.

A lot went wrong today. But I am glad and grateful for great friends such as Steve, Ari, and Jack.

September 2, 2008.

Thank you for water today.

September 1, 2008.

Thank you for a place to sleep tonight. Thank you for not being one of the homeless people in the park who have no where to go tonight.

August 31, 2008.

Thank you for the Jersey Shore, the casinos in Atlantic City. The shore air, the seagulls calling. The salt.

August 30, 2008.

Thank you for a good job to go to next week. Thank you for the fresh air today. Thank you for the nice visit with Steve yesterday.

August 23, 2008.

Thank you for the fresh, warm air outside to walk in.

July 8, 2008.

It has been a while since I've written here, but that doesn't mean I haven't been thankful. Thank you today for a good job to go to, a place to sit a night and write on my computer.

June 20, 2008.

Hi. Thank you for a job to go to tomorrow, finally.

June 17, 2008.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Thank you for the Lakers-Celtics game tonight. Hopefully me and the A-bomb can watch together in a bar or something.

June 16, 2008.

Hello, thank you for the Celtics party with Steve and Peter last night. They lost, but it was still good times, even though we were Guinness-less.

June 13, 2008.

Thank you for the hot bath today. I would post a picture to go along, but I don't have a panoramic lens.

June 7, 2008.

I have been neglecting my gratitude for a while because my life is extremely unstable right now. I am looking for a job and a place to live at the same time. But that is really no excuse. Thank you for a nice air conditioned house in this hotter-than-dick weather.

May 28, 2008.

Thank you for my health today. I will enjoy today.

May 27, 2008.

Thank you for being able to sit here in GG and watch Ari close.

May 26, 2008.

Thank you for the lay in the grass with Ari yesterday.

May 12, 2008.

Steve is thankful for talking to "one of the five hottest chicks" he's ever talked to in person.

May 9, 2008, again.

This was the nicest surprise I've gotten in a long while. It made my week. Thank you, Ari.

May 9, 2008.

Thank you for the ravioli dinner. Thank you for the rain, the warm sweater, the pillows on my bed that I'm laying on now.

May 7, 2008.

Thank you for the awesome night last night. We went to see Michael Ondaatje read, then to Buffalo Bill's for a drink.

May 4, 2008.

Ari and I watched The Graduate last night and enjoyed it very much. Thank you dearly.

May 1, 2008.

April 30, 2008.

Had a nice lunch with Steve at PB's yesterday, and he was only 9 minutes late. Thank you. Also, thank you for the crossword puzzles with Ari at Wegman's. It was awesome.
Thank you.

April 27, 2008.

Hi, thank you today for being able to see Arry, if only for half an hour. Thank you for the quesa-dila for dinner. Thank you for being able to talk to Mia on the phone.

April 26, 2008.

Hello, thank you for breakfast with Ari today, the phone call with Steve at night about how much he hates the courier.

April 24, 2008.

Thank you for the bike ride with Ari yesterday around Cooper River.

April 22, 2008.

Thank you for clean grass outside and not as much pollution as there could be.

April 20, 2008.

April 19, 2008.

I think I'll go read by the river this afternoon. Thank you for the nice weather.

April 18, 2008.

Thank you for the canoe ride yesterday. There is something enjoyable about taking someone out and showing her something that you love, especially when it's all new to her.

April 15, 2008.

Hi, thank you for Steve and Ari and Phil and Kelly and Mom and Peter. It's good to know that if one of these people dies, there will always be the others. Even if two or three die, there will still be three or four left. I can't imagine wanting to live in a world without these people.

April 10, 2008.

Thank you for the water behind this condo and the nice weather we're supposed to have today and the clean air that I can breathe.

April 9, 2008.

Thank you for decent weather today with no rain.

April 8, 2008.

Thank you for a toothbrush and mouthwash.

April 7, 2008.

Thank you for company last night.

April 5, 2008.

Thank you for my health today, not having the flu, being able to walk around and do things.

April 4, 2008.

Today I felt a bit better. I painted all day and went for a long walk/run at night. Thank you for the cool air at night all over my face.

April 3, 2008.

Thank you for milk this morning.

April 2, 2008.

Thank you for prayer.

April 1, 2008.

Thank you today for that time when me and Ari saw dinosaurs in the rain.

March 31, 2008.

Thank you for my family members.

March 30, 2008.

Thank you for the daily early morning calls from Kelly.

March 29, 2008.

Today was very stressful and annoying but I am thankful that I feel better, that I have some peace tonight.

March 28, 2008.

The air outside was so nice today. I took the trash out just to walk in it. Thank you.

March 27, 2008.

March 26, 2008.

March 25, 2008.

March 23, 2008. Easter.

Thank you for being able to spend Easter with my family. I'm thankful that we can hide eggs for the kids and watch them find them. For the Easter bread and the lasagna, and the nice day today.

March 22, 2008.

Thanks for this couch to sleep on and all the blankets.

March 19, 2008.

This picture speaks for itself.

March 16, 2008.

Thank you today for Ari and Steve coming over. There is a soft couch and a leak-proof roof. This is my third or fourth night staying at Dad's. I am glad to not be alone.

March 13, 2008.

I would taken the shot before I ate this upside-down cone head, but I was too excited. Thank you for this reversion to childhood.

March 12, 2008.

I took this shot on Saturday. Dad loved to sit on the porch while it was raining, but he wasn't able to on this day. I was, though, and for this simple pleasure I am so thankful.

March 10, 2008.

Today I'm thankful for my clean health, my ability to walk and run and jump, my presence of mind.

March 8, 2008.

Today I am thankful that I was lucky enough to have had you as my father. I am thankful that you are now living in peace and no longer in pain. Thankful for the sedation holiday that let us talk to you for that brief moment, and thankful that you raised your eyebrows to let me know you were OK. Thank you for all the memories, and thank you especially for the wisdom you imparted on me during those final hours yesterday in the ICU.

March 5, 2008.

I am extremely glad to be awake today.

March 4, 2008.

Today the weather was warm and breezy, almost like summer. I could go outside and breathe and not cough. I took a shower tonight with hot water. I have a warm place to sleep. I saw Mia and the kids. Thank you.

March 3, 2008.

Today I am thankful for:

1. A sister that loves me to death.
2. A mother that loves me to death.
3. A friend named Steve.
4. A woman named Ari.
5. A house to sleep in.

March 2, 2008.

Thank you for a place to live during this time of craze. For a kitchen to eat breakfast in, for the warmth of the furnace. Thank you for the furry hat.

February 29, 2008.

The world is a flaring meteor of chaos, but today I have full use of my arms and hands and fingers, no arthritis, no pain, no nothing. I can pick things up, I can type, I can open doors simply by turning the knob. Praise the lord for this.

February 27, 2008.

I have to move to Dad's today. Thank you for yet another place to stay. I don't know if it's safe, but it should at least be warm. Thank you.

February 25, 2008.

Slept at Granny's last night. Thank you for the warm bed and breakfast this morning. Thank you for my vision, my hearing, my sight.

February 23, 2008.

Thank you for a healthy liver, good kidneys, good parts inside me.


Thank you for a healthy liver, good kidneys, good parts inside me.

February 22, 2008.

There are 5 inches of snow outside, but I have these insulated duck boots. Thank you.


There are 5 inches of snow outside, but I have these insulated duck boots. Thank you.

February 21, 2008.

Lord, it's below freezing outside, but I am warm inside, with electricity and light switches. Thank you.

February 20, 2008.

Thank you for the movie store and the ability to watch a movie with someone in a safe, quiet place.

February 18, 2008.

Thank you for:

- Lunch
- Enough money to take the speedline into Philly
- The health of all my family and friends (besides Dad)

February 17, 2008.

Thank you today for:

- Heat
- Warm pillows
- A house
- Friends
- Food

February 14, 2008.

Thank you for mac and cheese and carrots.

February 13, 2008.

Thank you for clean joints that don't squeak and ache.

February 11, 2008.

Thank you for heat!

February 10, 2008.

Thank you for not being alone last night.

February 9, 2008.

Thank you for the hug with Ari last night, and thank you for what she said to me. Thank you for the bath last night, and for the Lucky Charms this morning.

February 8, 2008.

Thank you for the bed last night and warm down comforter. And the pillows. And the quiet and the peace.

February 7, 2008.

Today I'm thankful for pleasant weather and no tornadoes.

February 6, 2008.

Thank you for being able to see Dad alive today.

February 5, 2008.

Thank you today for peace of mind, again, for a warm, safe place to write this morning.

February 4, 2008.

Thanks for being able to eat and keep it down and not having to throw it up. Thank you.

February 3, 2008.

Thank you the clarity and wisdom this morning to slow down and be thankful for something. Everyday I feel like I get up, whirled into tornado where everything is go go go. Thank you for peace of mind, for clarity.

Also, thanks for the visit from Steve last night.

February 2, 2008.

Thank you for the opportunity to write this afternoon.

February 1, 2008.

Hi. Today I am grateful for the coffee and the peace and quiet this morning.

January 31, 2008.

Today I am thankful for the hugs with Ari.

January 30, 2008.

Thank you for the health of all my family members (barring Dad). Thank you for their happiness, their coherency, their competence. Thank you lordie.

January 29, 2008.

I am grateful for Life cereal.

January 28, 2008.

Thank you for my safety today, my health, my family, friends, and wealth.

January 27, 2008.

Thank you for:

1. Such a safe, warm bed/room to wake up in.
2. My health. The lack of cancer, disease, a runny nose, bruised skin. Thank you for my ability to digest food.
3. Dinner that Mom is bringing home tonight.

January 25, 2008.

Today I am thankful for:

1. The warm bed in which I woke.
2. The peace and quiet I have this morning.
3. Sobriety.
4. Life cereal for breakfast.
5. Ice cold milk, plenty of it.

January 24, 2008.

Today I am grateful for a safe return home from Costa Rica, a warm house to live in, food in the fridge. Safety. A chance to see Dad. I am so lucky. Thank you.

January 14, 2008.

Today I am immensely thankful for the hostel we stayed at in Alejuela, CR. It was safe and warm and beautiful. Thank you.

January 9, 2008.

Thank you for my life. Oh lordie. Thank you.

January 8, 2008.

Thank you for:

1. Milk
2. Ari staying over last night
3. Pizza for dinner last night
4. The lack of missiles and bombs exploding in my neighborhood

January 5, 2008.

Sometimes I get so tense, but I can't speed up the time. Thank you for ice cold water, oatmeal, and my ability to write this morning--the laptop, the Notepad program, the coherency in my brain. Thank you for the peaceful quiet.

January 4, 2008.

Today I am going to concentrate on being thankful for my health. My dad has lost a lot of weight in the hospital. He throws up whatever he eats, it's hard for him to pee, hard to even talk on the phone. Thank you for my health. Thank you for my ability to go to the bathroom, to eat and drink, to nourish myself, to exist without pain. Oh God thank you.

January 3, 2008.

Hi. Today I am grateful for five things:

1. The cheese and mushroom stromboli for dinner.
2. Ari, as a friend.
3. This house with heat.
4. The opportunity to go to Costa Rica.
5. The ability to feel bad in the face of all that I have.

January 2, 2008.

Today I am thankful for:

1. Oatmeal for breakfast
2. A place to live from Jan. 3 to the 13th.

January 1, 2008.

December 31, 2007.

Thank you dearly for a dear friend named Steve.

December 30, 2007.

It's so cold and damp outside, but I am warm inside a coffee shop. Thank you. I'm also thankful for:

1. Dinner tonight
2. Being happy today
3. The feeling I had last night lying in bed, like the world is good
4. Poetry

December 29, 2007.

Today I am thankful for the coffee shop down the street. It's safe and dry and they play all kinds of great music.