December 31, 2007.

Thank you dearly for a dear friend named Steve.

December 30, 2007.

It's so cold and damp outside, but I am warm inside a coffee shop. Thank you. I'm also thankful for:

1. Dinner tonight
2. Being happy today
3. The feeling I had last night lying in bed, like the world is good
4. Poetry

December 29, 2007.

Today I am thankful for the coffee shop down the street. It's safe and dry and they play all kinds of great music.

December 28, 2007.

Oh man what a beautiful day. Today I am thankful for:

1. The bed in which I woke up.
2. The shower from which I just removed myself.
3. The breakfast at the diner (French toast and hash browns).

Oh Lordie thank you.

December 27, 2007.

December 26, 2007.

This picture speaks for itself.

December 25, 2007.

I had two people call me this morning to wish me merry Christmas. Mom and Kelly. I think about all those people who have no one to call them, and all those people who don't even have a phone on which to be called. Oh Lordie thank you. Then tonight I get to go over to Granny's house to eat the Christmas Feast. Oh Jesus thank you.

December 24, 2007.

Oh man. Today. I am incredibly lucky to have a 24-hour pharmacy down the street called Walgreens that serves up Plan B hot over the counter. Oh lordie thank God. Why is he always so good.

December 23, 2007.

December 22, 2007.

December 21, 2007.

Oh Jesus Lordie, thank the good heavens for pancakes. I woke up this morning and inhaled these buttermilk babies called pancakes. Some day I will be in a place with no such thing.

December 20, 2007.

Today I am grateful for:

-The egg and pepper sandwich for lunch
-Ella's safe return
-National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
-Rocco the Elephant

December 19, 2007.

There is a coffee shop around the corner for which I am enormously thankful. In picture is a little Jewish girl named Ari. Thank you Lordie for this experience last night. Thank you for the opportunity to go into town, into the coffee shop.

December 18, 2007.

Today I am immensely grateful for the pancakes I had for breakfast. Fresh milk. Yellow bananas. Oh lord it was lovey dovey. Thank you Jesus.

December 17, 2007.

Ari and I stole bowling shoes last night. What a beautiful day. Thank you Lordie for the memory.

December 16, 2007.

Today I woke up in the most comfortable, driest bed imaginable. It was beautiful. Thank you so much.

December 15, 2007.

Oh Lordie, thank you for a place out of the wind, a shelter from the cold, a calm and quiet place to sit and read and write. Thank you.

December 14, 2007.

Today I am thankful for Kelly, my sister. I'm glad she calls me all the time, glad she wants me to come over, glad she keeps calling until I answer. Sometimes it is a bit much, but today I am eternally grateful for it.

December 13, 2007.

Went out with Ari last night to a place in Philly. I had the rabbit, she the tenderloin. Then we went to Buffalo Bill's. How beautiful. Thank you.

December 12, 2007.

Little Jackie playing manger. How beautiful to see him acquainting himself with the Christmas fabrications. Thank you Lordie for this experience I had last night.

December 11, 2007.

Yesterday Ari and I went to the Japanese place for dinner. It was awesome. Thank you.

December 10, 2007.

Had dinner yesterday with the kids and the family. How amazing this was. For this memory I am eternally grateful.

December 9, 2007.

Starting to feel a bit guilty, all this good fortune heaped upon me. Today I'm supposed to go over Peter's to watch the kids decorated the tree. How beautiful. Thank you.

December 8, 2007.

Behold the power of snow. We got our first frosting the other day, and for this I am thankful. How many more times in my life will I see snow? It seems countless, but really it's only a small, finite number. Thank you Lordie.

December 7, 2007.

Me and Ari went into town for burgers and beers last night. Good food, good drink, good talk. A beautiful night, thank you Lordie. Today I have Raisin Bran and fresh, cold milk to eat for breakfast. Thank you again, Lordie. Also: Christmas music at my fingertips, a flood of childhood dreams, eternal gratitude.

December 6, 2007.

Lordie Lordie, I ate lunch at the Chinese place with Jeoleo yesterday, how beautiful it was. For this I am eternally grateful. Below is the gracious cook who made our life-sustaining food. Thank you Lordie.

December 5, 2007.

I had hash browns with Jess this morning. They were extremely good. I doused them in ketchup, ouu Lord they were lovey dovey. I have more left in the freezer, too. I can have them tomorrow and the next day and the next if I want. This is amazing! It has nothing to do with the picture, but Amen anyway.

December 4, 2007.

Yesterday I bought Bugles--something I haven't had in maybe 17 years. In other words, since childhood. A memory came back to me after putting them on my fingers like this, a memory of family vacation at the Pocono's in the Murray's house. We had just arrived there, and Kelly broke open the Bugles and put them on her fingers. Thank you Lordie for this beautiful memory and for these delicious-tasting cones called Bugles.

December 3, 2007.

My Lordie Jesus. Praise the Lord for Mac and Cheese. Today I revisited two things from my childhood: Donald Duck's Christmas, which I watched on Youtube with Mia, and Mac and Cheese shells. My Lordie it's good to be alive, to have this one more day of breath.

December 2, 2007.

It is so freaking freezing outside, I'm lucky to have an apartment with heat. Also, I am not completely alone today: I have Ella the dog beside me. Pancakes for breakfast, pizza for lunch, I love it. Everyday there are so many gifts. Ari didn't call today, but that's fine. There are so many other things that DID go right: Went to the coffee shop, waved hi to Anna, saw frost outside my window this morning, talked to Kelly on the phone. The list is endless. Thank you Jesus.

December 1, 2007.

I am SO lucky to have such beautiful niece and nephews. Playing with them today was the highlight of my day. Besides that, I got to see Dad again, and he wasn't high, wasn't using, wasn't outside of himself. He was perfectly polite and respectful, said please and thank you. As they say, it's the most wonderful time of the year.

November 30, 2007.

Today I am thankful for the bed I woke up in. How warm and fuzzy it was. No rain. No wind. Safe and secure with locked doors. So nice to talk to Ari, too. Also got to talk to Wood on the phone. I don't remember what the hell he was talking about (I never pay attention when he talks), but good to hear his voice. Wonderful to see my dad again, and wonderful to see a big goldfish as I was leaving the hospital.

November 29, 2007.

November 28, 2007.

I saw Dad in the hospital today. He had part of his colon taken out on Monday. One of the saddest things I've ever seen. To see an unknown homeless person on the street is easy. If you knew his history, however--if you went on family vacations with him as a child--it is another story.

At the coffee shop today I talked to Ari again. We decided we are moving to California in January to work on an organic farm.

Tonight I am immensely thankful for the day's fabric.

November 27, 2007.

Look at this awesome kitchen. Running water, clean, warm, safe, and a fridge, too. Thank you Lordie.

November 26, 2007.

I had a nice talk with Ari today at the GG coffee shop. It was the highlight of the day, very beautiful, just swapping syllables. Thank you Jesus.

November 25, 2007.

Thanks for a bubble bath today with Ella. I don't think I've had a bath since maybe 1991. You forget these little pleasures when you get old and hoary. Also, thanks for the eggplant parm sandwich for dinner. And thanks for getting to see Phil today--he came over to get the camera I got for him on Black Friday.

November 23, 2007.

Thank you for Seinfeld tonight. I'm listening to it on the radio, how beautiful. Also I got to meet Greg, Jess' bf. Also, I got to talk to Ari again today at the coffee shop. I told her about camping out last night. Thank you.

November 21, 2007.

Almost Thanksgiving, yet so unthankful. Thank you for the food I got at Thriftway tonight. Thank you for such a great bed, thank you for seeing Steve today at the coffee shop. Thank you for the pizza I had for dinner, thank you for electricity to power my computer, thank you for the shower I had this afternoon. Thank you for the chance to see the light of this one more day.

November 19, 2007.

Thanks for being able to see my Dad and sister today. (Sister is a little camera shy.)

November 18, 2007.

Woody and I done went to the thrift store today. Thanks for the coat I got to try on (it was from Italy).

November 17, 2007.

Thank you for the coffee shop--a sanctuary from myself.

November 14, 2007.

This is Ella trying to get at the Spaghetti-O's last night. Thank you, Ella. I am also thankful for Kelly calling me this morning, someone to talk to about the ACOA group. And of course, thank you for the Groove Ground, where I'm sitting right now.

November 12, 2007.

Today I took Ella for a walk. It was beautiful, as you can see. Thank you.

November 9, 2007.

Thanks for the new friends I made on Friday night.

November 6, 2007.

Today I was able to go to the Collingswood Library to sit and relax. Libraries are great. They're free, quiet, and a great place to collect thoughts, write.

Sara lost her life last night. This day was not given to her. But it was to me. Thank you for this, also.

November 4, 2007.

Yesterday I got a new bed. A huge, comfy, all-devouring mattress. For this I am eternally grateful. Some have to sleep on sidewalks, but I am fortunate enough to sleep on this piece of beauty. How truly blessed I am.

November 3, 2007.

Thank you for people.

November 1, 2007.

Thank you for the best roommates ever.

October 31, 2007.

I remember trick-or-treating as a kid, coming home and emptying the pillow case on the family room floor. There'd be some odd piece of candy, interesting, that I'd never seen before, that I'd save, look forward to. I could eat all the "boring," "regular" candy first, and still have something to look forward to. Thank you.

October 30, 2007.

Wow. Today I get to go into work and see Steve, Gabby, and maybe even Stephanie if I'm lucky. Then tonight I'm having dinner with Mom at the diner. Thank you Lord, thank you Jesus.

October 29, 2007.

Today I got to eat lunch with Rosie, then saw Gabby at work. Then I got to come home to Ella the Dog!!! Thank you!!!

October 28, 2007, night.

Why me, God? Why did you pick me to receive all the good fortunes of the world while so many others suffer? Today I was able to sit in the coffee shop again and write. Then I went for a walk in the park. How amazing it is, just to walk, to bend my knees, to feel crisp wind on my face. Thank you.

October 28, 2007.

Atlantic City. Me & Steve. Lost big time, but the night was beautiful. Thank you.

October 27, 2006.

Today I am able to sit at the coffee shop with people around me. It's dry and warm and cozy, and I'm able to get some good writing done, able to eat a nice lunch here. This is very good. Thank you.

And, of course, how amazing it was to go to Baltimore yesterday with Kelly to the Joel Osteen talk.

October 25, 2007.

Wow, how great it was coming home to Jess and Ella, having someone to eat dinner with, it was a blessing. How fortunate I am. And to think, this is possible many more days in the future. Today will not be the only day I will be blessed. Can I believe this!?!? Thank you.